Your best friend has a bigger dick than you.

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Just sayin’ – you wanted to know the truth. Small penis humiliation phone sex will definitely open your eyes. But you already know the truth. It’s a small, stout, ugly looking dick. Your cock makes my eyes roll back from laughter, not pleasure. But your best friend… mmm… now he’s got a fat cock. You must be jealous of him… when did you know his dick was bigger? In the locker room way back in the day? I don’t care if he has a gf or wife, you know he’s going to love fucking me. So don’t piss me off because I might run on over and take all 9 inches in every fucking hole and then come back home smelling of sex and cum. Lick it off my shoes, honey. LMFAO No. Fuck you. Go to bed you useless tiny dicked twerp. Unless you are cleaning me up or lapping up some of his monster cock jizz, just shut up and let me sleep because my holes are sore and I’m quite tired. Come here, it looks like I’m going to lean in and kiss you on your cheek. Really I just whisper in your ear “I’m never having sex with you again.” I lay back, spread my legs so you can lick my freshly fucked, cum dumped twat if you’re bored. I don’t care either way. Because I fall asleep with a smile on my face; arms up over my head. I look so happy and content…. how come you could never give this to me? You never made me cum so hard and fucked me so deep all I wanted to do was sleep after. You’re not man enough.
No worries, though tiny cock boyfriend. I’ll keep getting fucked by your big dicked friends, bosses, sons, brothers, etc. I’ll find em and fuck em. So then maybe we can at least have small penis humiliation phone sex. SPH for short since you have a short cock, why not use an acronym for it.

Your darling ex girlfriend,
Andrea 1 888 467 6904

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Farting Phone Sex Girl

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I know it sound crazy, right? But I’m an insane girl who has a caller that enjoys farting phone sex. Even though I’ve yet to fart on a call for him (he only grabs 10s), we just talk about my farts and how I like to announce to every one of my friends that I just pooted and tooted in their presence. It really turns him on and I find that playful and funny. Who thinks farts aren’t funny? I talk about the time I had my round butt pressed up against a wooden kitchen chair and it made the biggest rumbling sound ever. Whoaaa thunderous boom farts coming out of my pink little starfish. You think I’m kidding? Ask any of my girlfriends. My farts smell like rose petals and when I toot, glitter shoots out of my ass like fuckin fairy dust. Don’t hate.  At least I know my farting phone sex caller will always love me.

I just enjoy new fetishes and fantasies no matter what they may be. My fucked up psycho brain wants to hear allllll about them no matter how crazy you think they are. I’m already crazier than that. Farting phone sex isn’t so far fetched. I’ve heard it all from hiccups to grunting animal sounds. Yes, he wanted me to grunt like an animal and every time I came he wanted me to lose brain cells so he was fucking me stupid. Legit, fucking me stupid. It was awesome! lol Getting fucked so hard pretending I can’t form sentences and believing cum was my only source of food. Yeah, that’s because I’m the nastiest little slut you’ll ever meet and that’s why you won’t be afraid to share your crazy fantasies with me.

xoxoxox Andrea
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Humiliation phone sex

Tiny little cocks amuse me. They shouldnt even be considered cocks… more like a clit. How pathetic is that? Finding out a guy has a dick like a cocktail weenie must really ruin your day. Not mine though, I like little cock. Not for sex of course but for laughing at! I like humiliation phone sex. I like watching pathetic losers try and stroke their tiny little clits. I should invite all of my friends over for pizza, I am sure they would love to sit around and laugh at you and your itty bitty clitty. Wouldnt that be soo embarassing. Four hot girls in tight dresses and heels laughing and taunting you as you try and get off. It’s not like you can really cum with a cock that small anywayz. You will be lucky to get a little bit to dribble out. Let me laugh at you! Come on…. It’s the closest you will ever get to a hottie like me anyway. *giggles*

 

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Bratty Domme Phone Sex

I am always in the mood for some bratty domme phone sex. I like teasing and taunting men. My cute little body makes it easy for me to keep them coming back for more. Letting me laugh and make fun of them in front of my friends. We love taking pics of all the losers who wanna get with us but cant. We dress them up like sluts and take lots of naughty pics. Sometimes I even send them to people when the guy makes me mad. I can be quite a brat sometimes. *giggles*  Just last week I found a pathetic old man sitting outside my window staring in at me while I was changing. Oh boy did that make me mad! I ran outside and sweetly invited him in. You should have seen his face… he looked so happy…. hahaha… Poor guy didnt know what he was in for. After getting him into my room I locked the door and pushed his ass on the ground. I started pulling off his clothes then after he was nice and naked I wrote the words “nasty pig” all over his body with my brightest red lipstick. That suited him much more than the dirty white shirt and torn jeans he was wearing before. I shoved him out onto my balcony naked then locked the door. He was trapped outside in the cold with all sorts of cars driving by honking and laughing at him. That’s what he gets! Nasty little piggy… I’m sure he will think twice about peeping at me agian.

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Schoolgirl phone sex

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Im a sucker for some naughty schoolgirl phone sex! I love playing a nasty lil girl who loves to fuck. I mean what could be closer to the truth? *giggles*  I have always had a fantasy where my teacher would keep me after class and confront me about my super short skirt. He would tell me how inappropriate my outfit was. He would threaten to send a letter to my parents. How could I talk him into letting me of the hook? Maybe I should offer him a little taste of my sweet little pussy. I mean what man could resist a yummy bald pussy like mine? I would hop up onto his desk and spread my legs just enough for him to get a peek at my tiny white panties. His cock would tingle and twitch at the site. I grab his tie and pull him closer to me, whispering in his ear “If my little skirt is a problem I can take it off”… He looks at me with a grin on his face as I put my foot right on his cock. I can feel how hard it is and that gets my little snatch nice and wet. He quickly jumps up from his chair and locks the door. I want him to fuck my tight teen pussy right on his desk! I was aching to feel a big fat cock inside of me. I hope nobody knocks on the door. Just a moment away from taboo daddy’s girl phone sex. My friend totally fucks her daddy. I should do that too. Fuck i’d do ANYTHING!*giggles*

 

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